Dear House Guests,

When you called me two days ago and said you were on your way to my house to stay and hoped I was aware of your visit, I was fine. I didn't mind that you brought an extra guest with you. Or that you failed to communicate your travel plans with me ahead of time, even though you had my contact information for that purpose. I told you to make yourself at home and I can see now that you've taken me quite literally.
I didn't mind that you ripped my kitchen apart to make a salad, making sure to leave your dirty dishes and vegetable carcasses for me to clean. Or that that you borrowed some salt and a Ziploc bag or two. But today you've outdone yourself.
I don't appreciate that you've eaten all of the lettuce I had set aside for dinner. Don't worry, we made due with bean burritos, even though I was craving Chef salad all day. I notice that you've filled my garbage can and left me with a sink full of dirty dishes (for the second time). I'm glad that you think I'm your personal maid. Let me clue you in, I'm not.
Oh, and thank you for using the remainder of my Febreze, I'm sure I didn't need it anyway.
I have to say though, the real topper was your "creativity" with my white kitchen towel. See, I've always worked hard to keep this specific towel white because I use it solely for baking rolls. I can tell that the white wasn't working for you and I'm sure my rolls will taste just as good with the grease-stained, blotchy, black towel you've left me with. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to try something new, and for not wasting the paper towels I had sitting on the counter just above the drawer you pulled this towel from. After all, I wouldn't want to hurt the environment. I hope you continue to enjoy your stay.

Sincerely,

Kristine


P.S. If you'd like to ruin anything else of ours, please help yourself. It's not like we're poor college students about to move and have a baby or something.